OwnSkin

Elle55 12 years ago
Dear Santa, Yeah it's not even september yet...:L...and I also know I have been like in your naughty list for quite sometime now... I kinda noticed you haven't been sending me my xmas presents, yannoe:hee:..(not that I was hangin' my mom's wrinkly red stocking each year :,( )...it's not like we have a chimney anyways..LMAO.. ok ok..I'm writing coz you already prob'ly know this ass I met recently...(who's like so hot and can cook :love: )...well, I kinda think he's comatose right now from my jokes...:spin: IKR.. well if you can grant me one wish please make him wake up..and promise I won't ever write to you again..like six times...daily...a year... :hee: P.S.: it's not like I'm wishin' for a miracle..He does seem braindead already way back, if ya know what I mean:rofl: ..kidding :heart: not-so-pretty-but-very-smart-and-oh-so-shy...LMAO "LENDY" (don't freak out..I know my name sucks :p )

Elle55 12 years ago
Shortly after a long night of passion, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, Tony replied, "That's me before the operation.:thumb::rofl::rofl:

Elle55 12 years ago
Two friends talking: - Yesterday I split up with my girlfriend. - What happened, you were doing so well together. - We were taking a shower together and she said: Darling, let's do something really bad - So what? - So I spilled shampoo to her eyes.

Elle55 12 years ago
There was a guy sunbathing in the nude on a beach. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up toward him and asked, "What's that under your newspaper?" Thinking quickly, the guy replied. "A bird." The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he awoke, he was in tremendous pain. The police asked him what happened. The guy says, "I dont know. I was lying on the beach, and this little girl asked me a question, I guess I dosed off and the next thing I know im here" The police went to the beach found the little girl and asked her "What did you do after that?" After a pause the little girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with his bird and it spit on me. So, I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire!"

Elle55 12 years ago
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"

Elle55 12 years ago
3 men got stranded on an island filled with cannibals. The chief of the cannibal tribe told them each, go out into the forest and pick 10 pieces of the same fruit. So out the men went. The first came back with 10 apples. The chief said "if you can shove all the fruit up your ass without making a face, we will let you free." So the man started, but could only get 2 apples in before he made a face, so he was eaten. The second man came back with 10 berries and was told the same thing. He got to seven of the berries, but busted out laughing, so the cannibals killed and ate him. When he got to heaven, the first guy said "You were so close, why did you laugh?" "Well, I was almost done, but then I looked up and saw the third guy coming back with ten pineapples."

Elle55 12 years ago
Who said these lines anyhow??? "I'll give you all my time, if you just throw me a glance...":love:-says the watch. "You light up my life and kill me softly...":,(-says the candle. "Why do you hate me so much each time I ask you something you can't answer?...":L-says the test paper. "Am I that irresistable? I seem to always make you fall....":hee:-says gravity. GOOD EVENING DAN:)